Interview #3
Preliminary Questions:
-Male/ Female
-Ethnicity: Italian
-Age:25
-Sexuality: Gay/ Bisexual/ Straight/ Transgendered/ Intersex
Approaching a possible date:
Thanks for doing the interview! So lets get started, when approaching a possible date, when you are interested in someone, will you approach them first?
No I wont because I have a lot of pride in myself and I don't want them to refuse me. I will feel bad about myself and I will be afraid to talk to someone who is interested or not interested in me. I am shy depending on the person who comes and talks to me. I am more shy around girls than guys because I am worried what they think about me. I feel uncomfortable
So,What physical qualities attract you to a person?
The first thing a guy sees is the face, it needs to be smart-looking and look nice not evil. I don’t like too much makeup either, I like the natural look, makeup is bad thing. She cannot have a double chin or I will be turned off. The hair has to be also nice, I like it when its shiny and soft. Not too much work, just as natural as possible. Next I will notice if the woman is overweight, then I look at her breasts to make sure they are round and perky. I also look at legs, how a girl walks. I don’t like when women walks goofy. How a woman moves is important. I like when a woman walks elegantly. If i go to a bar with a girl, I don’t like a girl to just eat olives out of a glass, but be classy and drink a martini. A good butt is also important!
What would turn you off from person?
Oh damn, a lot! If I see too much hair on their arms or on their face then I do not like that! Also, a woman with a small bottom portion and bigger top portion is such a turn off to me. I don't like when a girl is talking and has dry saliva in the corners of her mouth! It’s a turn off. It makes me think "I will never kiss her", and if I can’t kiss her, then I cant be with her, it’s just gross. Umm…when a girl walks on the street without shoes and her feet are black. I’ve seen it in downtown San Diego like when a girl cant wear her heels anymore, so she walks barefoot where the cockroaches are. It’s like if you do that you don’t have a sense of cleanliness and it makes me think that the girl is dirty which is what I’m not looking for. I also don’t like if a girl smells bad or like B.O., it makes me want to say “get the hell out of here.” Also, when a girl makes her hair all different colors, I don’t like the punk look. I don’t like manly looking girls, like some Italian girls look so masculine and it turns me off. Last one that turns me off is when a girl has long, long nails, like u cant even type on a computer, that looks stupid.
That’s a lot, but at least you have standards! After being turned down, will you approach the same person again?
Oh no, that is crazy. I will talk “shit” about her because she hurt my feelings, but usually nobody turns me down because I always study the kind of person and never put myself in the position that a girl turns me down. I will study and think of the first thing to say. If I see somebody happy, then I like to think we would make a comfortable conversation. It’s not what you say but how you say it.
Do you use pick up lines to initiate a conversation?
No, because then a girl will think “you don’t know me, how can you even say that?” So I will never say something like that.
After meeting someone and exchanging numbers do you wait a certain amount of time to call them?
Actually, when I take someone’s number, sometimes I will forget the face of the number (haha). If I really like someone I will wait until she calls me first. I need to be sure that she is really interested in me first before I start calling her. After she texts or calls me I will call her once in awhile to make her feel that she wants desires me.
Will you date someone older or younger than you?
It doesn’t matter the age because you can find old women who are immature and younger women who are mature. It doesn’t matter the age, just the feeling. But, I cannot be with an older women by 20 years because when your in your 20s, you are still growing and building you life, when your 40 you there.
If yes, How many years?
Younger by maximum of 5 and older by 5 years as well.
Early on dating:
So who do you expect to pay on the first few dates?
Actually I like it when a girl will be a friend and wonder how much I spend. I am not married with a girl so I don’t want to pay all the time. It’s important to have an equal relationship. It costs someone to make money, and if I was a girl seeing a guy making 10 or 12 an hour, I wouldn’t feel good about it. I don’t like a girl to try to take me away from my work, although. If the girl is broke, I will pay for her but I still think that women and men have the same rights so they should both pay for their own stuff. If I really like a girl, it has nothing to do with pay, economical things are one thing, a girl I like is something else.
Describe your ideal first date:
For me, something nice would be going to Coronado Island (in San Diego) and walking where the view of San Diego is at night. Usually, on the first date I am afraid to show too much to a girl. I could rent a Ferrari or go to the best restaurant in San Diego, but then her view of me is wrong. I like something simple something where we can get to know each other, like a walk or an appetizer in a nice bar, or having a sandwich in a nice place. On first date, I am not confident. I can tell a girl “ hey, lets go on a jet ski” but she might be afraid.
Interesting! How long do you wait to have sex with someone that you are dating?
If I like a girl so much, it’s really not about waiting, it’s about how it comes. If it comes up early, it’s okay, if it comes on later, its okay. It depends on the girl. A woman is delicate and sometimes needs space in the beginning. A girl is like an engine you have to know it. If we have sex right away, then I think “it happens.” It’s the same to me whether it 2 days or 2 weeks, but 2 years, no way. If we wait too long, girls will just want to be your friend.
How long do you date someone until you make the relationship official?
Again, It depends on the girl. If I see the girl I’m still dating and she’s still talking to her ex, it takes longer, when a girl shows me that she really wants me and cares. If she asks me too soon to be my girlfriend, then I know she doesn’t know me, and it takes time to know someone. Honestly I am afraid of relationships so I always wait for the other person first. I am afraid of things ending bad because I have had bad experiences. I don’t know why every girl that gets with me really likes me a lot and doesn’t want to lose me, some girls lose pride and maybe she never had pride. It gets to the point where that makes me like someone less and less, a girl has to be herself.
Will you date more than one person at the same time?
No because I would lose both of them and because I don’t give myself to a lot of people at one time, this will mean that one of the girls, or both, I am wasting time on, and I do not like to waste time. I have many things to do, many things to take care of.
Would you date outside of your race?
Yes! It doesn’t matter where your from, we are humans, white, black, Asian, Latinos and Indians. I prefer the white race although, because I am white, I mean white-French, white- American, white- Scandinavian. If I go to England and see a black girl, it is hard for me because I am not attracted.
Serious Relationships:
Have you cheated on someone?
No, never. Like I said before, if I am with a girl, I am not a “whore.” I don’t give myself out to everyone, only to someone who deserves it. I am honest with everything in my life, whether it be work, or a relationship. If I don’t like someone, I will break up with them and just be honest rather than cheating on them.
How long do you wait until you take your relationship to the next level: Engaged/ Marriage?
It depends on the fights. If I have a lot of fights with my girlfriend, like breaking up and making up, it is not good for me. There’s a time between being boyfriend and girlfriend to getting engaged and in that time , if you have no problems, or are in a great relationship, I feel comfortable. When I’m comfortable, then I know I will want to marry this girl. If my family likes her, then I want to marry her. There’s no specific time, its related to how good the relationship is, if its good, then I’m great.
Will you live with someone while dating them?
If it’s an emergency and my girl needs help, then of course I would let her come in with me, but usually not while were dating because that is too fast. I have never lived with someone unless it was an emergency, bottom line. When I feel that I can do whatever I want while I’m with my girl and she understands me all the time, then I would move in. I have to feel comfortable, there has to be trust.
Do you say ‘I love you’ first or wait for your partner to say it?
In the U.S., you say I love you to everyone, it’s not like a strong meaning anymore. In Spanish there is “te quiero” like “I like you” and “te amo” like “I deeply love you.” So if I feel like I really love someone then I tell them “I really care about you, you are my heart, you are part of me.”
Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, because that is not possible. Maybe when your drunk (haha). You don’t know who they are how would you know? You have to get to know someone before feeling’s develop.
Thank you so much for doing this interview, it was very insightful!
Your welcome, anytime!
Showing posts with label Interview. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Interview. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
interview #3 conducted by Mariana Gost
Dating Interview
Preliminary Questions:
Name: M30
Male/ Female: Male
Ethnicity: White
Age: 30
Sexuality: Gay/ Bisexual/ Straight/ Transgendered/ Intersex: Gay
M30 I will be asking you a series of question regarding dating. These questions are for an Anthropology project at Cal State University Fullerton. Your answers will be posted on a public Web blog. Do I have your verbal permission? Yes
When approaching a possible date:
1) If you are interested in someone, will you approach them first? If I know the other person is interested, cuz they are giving me the eye from across the room than yes.
2) If you are turned down, would you approach the same person again? No
3) So what physical qualities attract you to a person? I would say face is the main thing usually. I also like eyes and lips, as for body type it is not that important but skinny guys turn me on more.
4) What turn’s you off from a person? When a person has bad teeth and stinky breath, and I don’t like it when guys shaves their arms and legs and ass.
5) What about pick up lines? Have you ever used pick up lines or received pick up lines to initiate a conversation? I don’t use cheesy pick up lines. I don’t remember anyone every using lame pick up lines on me.
6) Now I know some guys out there might have this rule, but after meeting someone and exchanging numbers do you wait a certain amount of time to call them? I don’t know, I never followed any kind of rules. I will call the guy the next day, which is probably why I would freaked them out…lol.
7) Have you dated someone older or younger than you? Yes
8) How many years difference? When I was 21 years old I dated a guy who was 40. Currently my domestic partner is 9 months younger than I am.
9) So is age nothing but a number to you? Yes, for the most part. I have a general ‘rule of thumb’ if he’s hot it doesn’t matter as long as he is 18!
Early Dating:
10) If you’re going on the first few dates with someone, who do you expect to pay? Normally, I would say split the first date. But it depends. If a person asked me out on a date I would expect them to pay for the date.
11) What’s your ideal date? Its kind of boring but I would like to have a nice dinner and then get drinks. Either at home or out at a bar. Something really laid back.
12) How long do you wait to have sex with someone that you are dating?
In general I don’t have a rule with that one. With me there is little to no waiting period when it comes to sex.
13) How long do you date someone until you make the relationship official? Uhm it’s weird for me because I feel like next day we are an item. If I meet a guy and we like each other right away then where official.
14) Would you ever date more than one person at the same time? No, I would not be opposed to it but I have not dated more than one person at a time in the past .
15) Would you date outside of your race? Yes, my last boyfriend was Mexican.
Serious Relationships:
16) Have you ever been in a serious relationship? Yes, I am currently in a domestic partnership.
17) In a serious relationship, have you cheated on someone? Yes, with my last boyfriend, but is it really cheating if the other person knows about it?
18) How long do you wait until you take your relationship to the next level: Engaged/ Marriage/move in with someone?
With my current partner we would stay at each other’s houses all the time and then we moved to L.A. together. So then I guess that made ‘living together official’ this happened over the course of a year or so. As for engagement/marriage that doesn’t really apply to me. I will be a year in December that our domestic partnership was official. We register more as a formality. We had been together for three years before that.
19) Will you live with someone while dating them? Yes
20) Have you said ‘I love you’ first or do you wait for your partner to say it? In the past I have probably been the first person to say it. But the first time I told someone I love you I was drunk.
21) Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, but there different versions of love at first site. Uhm, I guess so. When you see someone you kind of know you have a connection with you can call that love at first site. But then sometimes you think there is a connection and there isn’t one. I think that love at first site is often confused with lust.
Preliminary Questions:
Name: M30
Male/ Female: Male
Ethnicity: White
Age: 30
Sexuality: Gay/ Bisexual/ Straight/ Transgendered/ Intersex: Gay
M30 I will be asking you a series of question regarding dating. These questions are for an Anthropology project at Cal State University Fullerton. Your answers will be posted on a public Web blog. Do I have your verbal permission? Yes
When approaching a possible date:
1) If you are interested in someone, will you approach them first? If I know the other person is interested, cuz they are giving me the eye from across the room than yes.
2) If you are turned down, would you approach the same person again? No
3) So what physical qualities attract you to a person? I would say face is the main thing usually. I also like eyes and lips, as for body type it is not that important but skinny guys turn me on more.
4) What turn’s you off from a person? When a person has bad teeth and stinky breath, and I don’t like it when guys shaves their arms and legs and ass.
5) What about pick up lines? Have you ever used pick up lines or received pick up lines to initiate a conversation? I don’t use cheesy pick up lines. I don’t remember anyone every using lame pick up lines on me.
6) Now I know some guys out there might have this rule, but after meeting someone and exchanging numbers do you wait a certain amount of time to call them? I don’t know, I never followed any kind of rules. I will call the guy the next day, which is probably why I would freaked them out…lol.
7) Have you dated someone older or younger than you? Yes
8) How many years difference? When I was 21 years old I dated a guy who was 40. Currently my domestic partner is 9 months younger than I am.
9) So is age nothing but a number to you? Yes, for the most part. I have a general ‘rule of thumb’ if he’s hot it doesn’t matter as long as he is 18!
Early Dating:
10) If you’re going on the first few dates with someone, who do you expect to pay? Normally, I would say split the first date. But it depends. If a person asked me out on a date I would expect them to pay for the date.
11) What’s your ideal date? Its kind of boring but I would like to have a nice dinner and then get drinks. Either at home or out at a bar. Something really laid back.
12) How long do you wait to have sex with someone that you are dating?
In general I don’t have a rule with that one. With me there is little to no waiting period when it comes to sex.
13) How long do you date someone until you make the relationship official? Uhm it’s weird for me because I feel like next day we are an item. If I meet a guy and we like each other right away then where official.
14) Would you ever date more than one person at the same time? No, I would not be opposed to it but I have not dated more than one person at a time in the past .
15) Would you date outside of your race? Yes, my last boyfriend was Mexican.
Serious Relationships:
16) Have you ever been in a serious relationship? Yes, I am currently in a domestic partnership.
17) In a serious relationship, have you cheated on someone? Yes, with my last boyfriend, but is it really cheating if the other person knows about it?
18) How long do you wait until you take your relationship to the next level: Engaged/ Marriage/move in with someone?
With my current partner we would stay at each other’s houses all the time and then we moved to L.A. together. So then I guess that made ‘living together official’ this happened over the course of a year or so. As for engagement/marriage that doesn’t really apply to me. I will be a year in December that our domestic partnership was official. We register more as a formality. We had been together for three years before that.
19) Will you live with someone while dating them? Yes
20) Have you said ‘I love you’ first or do you wait for your partner to say it? In the past I have probably been the first person to say it. But the first time I told someone I love you I was drunk.
21) Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, but there different versions of love at first site. Uhm, I guess so. When you see someone you kind of know you have a connection with you can call that love at first site. But then sometimes you think there is a connection and there isn’t one. I think that love at first site is often confused with lust.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Interview #2 Conducted by Mariana Gost
Dating Interview
Preliminary Questions:
Name: M 40
Male/ Female: Male
Ethnicity: White
Age: 40
Sexuality: Gay/ Bisexual/ Straight/ Transgendered/ Intersex: Straight
M40 I will be asking you a series of question regarding dating. These questions are for an Anthropology project at Cal State University Fullerton. Your answers will be posted on a public weg blog. Do I have your verbal permission. Yes
When approaching a possible date:
1) If you are interested in someone, will you approach them first? I will but uhm it’s definitely nerve wracking; the situation has to be just right. Just recently there was a woman that worked in a store I visit frequently. We have engaged in conversation before. I felt like it was the right time, the store was not very crowded and she was not busy. She seemed like she was alone (single). So I gave her my number.
2) If you are turned down, would you approach the same person again? No, if I am turned down I would assume that the person isn’t going to change their mind.
3) So what physical qualities attract you to a person? Definitely eyes and facial structure. As for body type I prefer slender, personal style and their clothing is something that I am really into.
4)What turn’s you off from a person? Someone who is overweight. I would say if they are 30 to 40 pounds or more over weight. For me the person needs to be at least semi fit. I do not find myself attracted to larger women. Also when woman have those big long fake finger nail…… I can’t stand that, and if a woman wears too much make up. I like women who are natural. A little make up is okay.
5)What about pick up lines? Have you ever used pick up lines or received pick up lines to initiate a conversation? No I have never used pick up lines and I have never used pick up lines on a woman…. Laughing.
6)Now I know some guys out there might have this rule, but after meeting someone and exchanging numbers do you wait a certain amount of time to call them? I would not wait longer than two days to call them.
7)Have you dated someone older or younger than you? I have dated women both older and younger than me
8)How many years difference? So there was this one woman, who was 5 years younger than me. I have gone recently been dating a woman who is 15 years older than me. When I was in my early thirties I dated a woman who was twelve and a half years younger than me.
9)So is age nothing but a number to you? No, uhm, that’s not true there are definitely problems with points of view and things of that nature. When you are in your twenties, thirty and forties people are at different places in their lives and they have different ideals about life.
Early Dating:
10)If you’re going on the first few dates with someone, who do you expect to pay? I would pay for the first three dates. But after the third date id the person is truly interested in me I would like it if she offered to go ‘dutch’ on a date or offer to pay for dessert.
11) What’s your ideal date: well that’s a hard one. It would be cool if I took a woman out to a club or a bar and the band that was playing we both were really into (just by chance). Also if we were able to have one of those deep conversations that just flow, not force. Finding out that we are on the same page with life and stuff.
12) How long do you wait to have sex with someone that you are dating? I would say who I am now and the place I am at in my life I would say about a month. We would have to have gone out on at least 8or 9 dates also.
13) How long do you date someone until you make the relationship official? I would say probably two to 3 months. We would need to have a serious talk beforehand about both of our goals and aspiration for the future. Also I feel it is important to talk about marriage and see if that is what this person wants the relationship to lead to.
14) Would you ever date more than one person at the same time? Yes I have dated more than one woman at a time but I that was a long time ago. I no longer date more than one woman at a time.
15)Would you date outside of your race? Yes I would. When I was living up in Northern California I date a woman from India. When I was in High school I dated a Mexican girl. But those are the other woman that come to mind right now.
Serious Relationships:
16) Have you ever been in a serious relationship? Yes … Uhm I have been in a few serious relationships. I would say five in my entire life.
17)In a serious relationship, have you cheated on someone? NO !
18)How long do you wait until you take your relationship to the next level: Engaged/ Marriage/ Moving in together? I was dating this one woman. We were dating for about six months and we moved into together. As for marriage, I have never asked a woman to marry me. I I have been waiting for them to ask me but no one has.
19)Will you live with someone while dating them? Okay here is how I understand the question. I would become romantic with a roommate and uhm yes I would if the we were both attracted to each other and the feelings were mutual.
20)Have you said ‘I love you’ first or do you wait for your partner to say it? I say it first….. I think I have always been the one to say I love you first in the relationship.
21)Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, but there different versions of love at first site. Well this is an interesting question. It can be taking so many different ways. It’s like if you ask someone if they believe in God. There is evidence the support it and evidence that doesn’t. I know I am open to the idea, but I have never experienced love at first site.
Preliminary Questions:
Name: M 40
Male/ Female: Male
Ethnicity: White
Age: 40
Sexuality: Gay/ Bisexual/ Straight/ Transgendered/ Intersex: Straight
M40 I will be asking you a series of question regarding dating. These questions are for an Anthropology project at Cal State University Fullerton. Your answers will be posted on a public weg blog. Do I have your verbal permission. Yes
When approaching a possible date:
1) If you are interested in someone, will you approach them first? I will but uhm it’s definitely nerve wracking; the situation has to be just right. Just recently there was a woman that worked in a store I visit frequently. We have engaged in conversation before. I felt like it was the right time, the store was not very crowded and she was not busy. She seemed like she was alone (single). So I gave her my number.
2) If you are turned down, would you approach the same person again? No, if I am turned down I would assume that the person isn’t going to change their mind.
3) So what physical qualities attract you to a person? Definitely eyes and facial structure. As for body type I prefer slender, personal style and their clothing is something that I am really into.
4)What turn’s you off from a person? Someone who is overweight. I would say if they are 30 to 40 pounds or more over weight. For me the person needs to be at least semi fit. I do not find myself attracted to larger women. Also when woman have those big long fake finger nail…… I can’t stand that, and if a woman wears too much make up. I like women who are natural. A little make up is okay.
5)What about pick up lines? Have you ever used pick up lines or received pick up lines to initiate a conversation? No I have never used pick up lines and I have never used pick up lines on a woman…. Laughing.
6)Now I know some guys out there might have this rule, but after meeting someone and exchanging numbers do you wait a certain amount of time to call them? I would not wait longer than two days to call them.
7)Have you dated someone older or younger than you? I have dated women both older and younger than me
8)How many years difference? So there was this one woman, who was 5 years younger than me. I have gone recently been dating a woman who is 15 years older than me. When I was in my early thirties I dated a woman who was twelve and a half years younger than me.
9)So is age nothing but a number to you? No, uhm, that’s not true there are definitely problems with points of view and things of that nature. When you are in your twenties, thirty and forties people are at different places in their lives and they have different ideals about life.
Early Dating:
10)If you’re going on the first few dates with someone, who do you expect to pay? I would pay for the first three dates. But after the third date id the person is truly interested in me I would like it if she offered to go ‘dutch’ on a date or offer to pay for dessert.
11) What’s your ideal date: well that’s a hard one. It would be cool if I took a woman out to a club or a bar and the band that was playing we both were really into (just by chance). Also if we were able to have one of those deep conversations that just flow, not force. Finding out that we are on the same page with life and stuff.
12) How long do you wait to have sex with someone that you are dating? I would say who I am now and the place I am at in my life I would say about a month. We would have to have gone out on at least 8or 9 dates also.
13) How long do you date someone until you make the relationship official? I would say probably two to 3 months. We would need to have a serious talk beforehand about both of our goals and aspiration for the future. Also I feel it is important to talk about marriage and see if that is what this person wants the relationship to lead to.
14) Would you ever date more than one person at the same time? Yes I have dated more than one woman at a time but I that was a long time ago. I no longer date more than one woman at a time.
15)Would you date outside of your race? Yes I would. When I was living up in Northern California I date a woman from India. When I was in High school I dated a Mexican girl. But those are the other woman that come to mind right now.
Serious Relationships:
16) Have you ever been in a serious relationship? Yes … Uhm I have been in a few serious relationships. I would say five in my entire life.
17)In a serious relationship, have you cheated on someone? NO !
18)How long do you wait until you take your relationship to the next level: Engaged/ Marriage/ Moving in together? I was dating this one woman. We were dating for about six months and we moved into together. As for marriage, I have never asked a woman to marry me. I I have been waiting for them to ask me but no one has.
19)Will you live with someone while dating them? Okay here is how I understand the question. I would become romantic with a roommate and uhm yes I would if the we were both attracted to each other and the feelings were mutual.
20)Have you said ‘I love you’ first or do you wait for your partner to say it? I say it first….. I think I have always been the one to say I love you first in the relationship.
21)Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, but there different versions of love at first site. Well this is an interesting question. It can be taking so many different ways. It’s like if you ask someone if they believe in God. There is evidence the support it and evidence that doesn’t. I know I am open to the idea, but I have never experienced love at first site.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Interview #1 By Mariana
Dating Interview
Preliminary Questions:
Name: F29
Male/ Female: Female
Ethnicity: White
Age:29
Sexuality: Gay/ Bisexual/ Straight/ Transgendered/ Intersex: Straight
F29 I will be asking you a series of question regarding dating. These questions are for an Anthropology project at Cal State University Fullerton. Your answers will be posted on a public weg blog. Do I have your verbal permission. Yes
When approaching a possible date:
If you are interested in someone, will you approach them first? Absolutely, but I have not always been that way. It took me a long time to get comfortable with the idea that it’s okay for me to go up to guy first.
If you are turned down, would you approach the same person again? Laughing…… no. defiantly not
So what physical qualities attract you to a person? Hum… where do I start? I would have to say eyes and smile. I am pretty open when it comes to body types. Won’t do fat but I will do husky.
What turn’s you off from a person? When they overuse alcohol or drug, and guys who are controlling forget it. I kick those guys to the curb fast.
What about pick up lines? Have you ever used pick up lines or received pick up lines to initiate a conversation? Yes! Like while I was dancing this hot black guy I said, “You’ve got some moves man! I wonder what moves you have in the bedroom.” And then he leaned over to me and said, “I have never had a woman like you before”. And my response, “oh I am so sure”.
Now I know some guys out there might have this rule, but after meeting someone and exchanging numbers do you wait a certain amount of time to call them? Usually I wait about a day. If you like someone call them.
Have you dated someone older or younger than you? Absolutely, the guy I am currently dating is younger. The oldest I would go is four years
How many years difference? 4 years
So is age nothing but a number to you? Yes
Early Dating:
If you’re going on the first few dates with someone, who do you expect to pay? Him, if a guy is asking me out on a bunch of dates he should be the one paying for it.
What’s your ideal date: drive in movie, something carefree, not a super nice restaurant just something fun that we are both into. Something with nature like hiking or going to the beach.
How long do you wait to have sex with someone that you are dating? I have no rules with this one. Let’s just leave it at that
How long do you date someone until you make the relationship official? Normally about a month but again it really depends on the person.
Would you ever date more than one person at the same time?
No, I have done it in the past but I just feel like its not natural. I just don’t do it anymore. It’s a lot of work to be honest with you.
Would you date outside of your race? Yes, I was married; he is half black and half white. His mom is black and dad is white
Serious Relationships:
Have you ever been in a serious relationship? Yes
In a serious relationship, have you cheated on someone? Yes, but I do not wish to elaborate.
How long do you wait until you take your relationship to the next level: Engaged/ Marriage? 2 years is how long I wanted to wait but with my ex husband I waited 3 and half years until I proposed to him!
Will you live with someone while dating them? Not anymore, I feel like it cheapens the relationship and marriage and the commitment level of marriage. I didn’t decide this until after my ex.
Have you said ‘I love you’ first or do you wait for your partner to say it? I always wait for them to say it first. Because it really depends on the person, but if I feel it I will say it first.
Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, but there different versions of love at first site. In high school I thought I was in love with Chad Cely cuz he was the sexiest man I had ever seen! …giggling
Preliminary Questions:
Name: F29
Male/ Female: Female
Ethnicity: White
Age:29
Sexuality: Gay/ Bisexual/ Straight/ Transgendered/ Intersex: Straight
F29 I will be asking you a series of question regarding dating. These questions are for an Anthropology project at Cal State University Fullerton. Your answers will be posted on a public weg blog. Do I have your verbal permission. Yes
When approaching a possible date:
If you are interested in someone, will you approach them first? Absolutely, but I have not always been that way. It took me a long time to get comfortable with the idea that it’s okay for me to go up to guy first.
If you are turned down, would you approach the same person again? Laughing…… no. defiantly not
So what physical qualities attract you to a person? Hum… where do I start? I would have to say eyes and smile. I am pretty open when it comes to body types. Won’t do fat but I will do husky.
What turn’s you off from a person? When they overuse alcohol or drug, and guys who are controlling forget it. I kick those guys to the curb fast.
What about pick up lines? Have you ever used pick up lines or received pick up lines to initiate a conversation? Yes! Like while I was dancing this hot black guy I said, “You’ve got some moves man! I wonder what moves you have in the bedroom.” And then he leaned over to me and said, “I have never had a woman like you before”. And my response, “oh I am so sure”.
Now I know some guys out there might have this rule, but after meeting someone and exchanging numbers do you wait a certain amount of time to call them? Usually I wait about a day. If you like someone call them.
Have you dated someone older or younger than you? Absolutely, the guy I am currently dating is younger. The oldest I would go is four years
How many years difference? 4 years
So is age nothing but a number to you? Yes
Early Dating:
If you’re going on the first few dates with someone, who do you expect to pay? Him, if a guy is asking me out on a bunch of dates he should be the one paying for it.
What’s your ideal date: drive in movie, something carefree, not a super nice restaurant just something fun that we are both into. Something with nature like hiking or going to the beach.
How long do you wait to have sex with someone that you are dating? I have no rules with this one. Let’s just leave it at that
How long do you date someone until you make the relationship official? Normally about a month but again it really depends on the person.
Would you ever date more than one person at the same time?
No, I have done it in the past but I just feel like its not natural. I just don’t do it anymore. It’s a lot of work to be honest with you.
Would you date outside of your race? Yes, I was married; he is half black and half white. His mom is black and dad is white
Serious Relationships:
Have you ever been in a serious relationship? Yes
In a serious relationship, have you cheated on someone? Yes, but I do not wish to elaborate.
How long do you wait until you take your relationship to the next level: Engaged/ Marriage? 2 years is how long I wanted to wait but with my ex husband I waited 3 and half years until I proposed to him!
Will you live with someone while dating them? Not anymore, I feel like it cheapens the relationship and marriage and the commitment level of marriage. I didn’t decide this until after my ex.
Have you said ‘I love you’ first or do you wait for your partner to say it? I always wait for them to say it first. Because it really depends on the person, but if I feel it I will say it first.
Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes, but there different versions of love at first site. In high school I thought I was in love with Chad Cely cuz he was the sexiest man I had ever seen! …giggling
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Interview #2 By Cheyenne Inglis
Interview #2 By Cheyenne Inglis
Dating 101
Preliminary Questions:
-Male/ Female
-Ethnicity Caucasian
-Age: 22-Sexuality: Gay/ Bisexual/ Straight/ Transgendered/ Intersex
Approaching a possible date:
Thank you for sitting down for this interview! So let’s get started. When you are interested in someone, will you approach them first?
No, I’m way too shy! Also, I am very traditional when it comes to the approaching part of dating.
So if someone did approach you, then what physical qualities would attract you to them?
I like broad shoulders, tall, and clean-cut. I really love the professional look, it shows me that they take the time to look good.
That’s important! So then what would turn you off from person?
Smoking cigarettes, too skinny, too short, too tall, bad breath, uneducated, mean spirited, too forward, and too shy. All of those things make me want to run the other direction.
If you are ever being turned down, would you approach the same person again? Yea sure. I’m shy, but I’m confident.
Do you use pick up lines to initiate a conversation?
No, I let them take care of that. Like I said before, I am way too shy. I like it when a man initiates and takes action to talk to me, it shows me they are not lazy but bold, which is a turn-on to me. Any man that is too shy to talk to someone they like is not worth it to me. They will always be the loser sitting in the corner.
I can agree with that! After meeting someone and exchanging numbers do you wait a certain amount of time to call them?
I don’t call them, they call me. If they don’t, then it’s not worth it and I definitely won’t even be thinking twice about them.
Would you date someone older/ younger than you?
Not younger, but older definitely, and I have.
- if yes, How many years?
Not younger like I said, but older by 10 years or so. I am more attracted to older men because they are more mature and experienced mentally, physically, sexually. I don’t have to worry about babying them around, which I find that a lot of men my age need to be babysat.
Early on dating:
Who do you expect to pay on the first few dates?
The male. I am very traditional when it comes to this. Like I said before I am too shy and I expect the man to make the plans for the first date. If he can’t man-up and treat me like a lady, then I’m out.
So describe your ideal first date:
Meeting up around 7 in the evening and going to a five star restaurant. After dinner either go to a movie or go for a drive along the coast.
That would be nice! How long do you wait to have sex with someone that you are dating?
It depends on the person and I would have to know that they are sincere about the relationship. Sex can’t be the main motive. I try to wait as long as a can before it just “feels right.” Usually I can tell when that is a guys main motive by how aggressive he is. If a man waits, he is worthy of my time.
How long do you date someone until you make the relationship official?
A couple of months, although I usually let the male conclude whether we are in a official relationship or not. As you can tell, I leave a lot of things up to the men.
Will you date more than one person at the same time?
Never, I am a faithful person.
Would you date outside of your race?
Yes, I am right now, and it’s amazing
Serious Relationships:
In a serious relationship, have you ever cheated on someone?
Not in a relationship that I cared about.
That’s good! How long do you wait until you take your relationship to the next level: (Engaged/ Marriage.)
I would have to know that he is what I wanted and know as much about them as I could. After I know I want to be with that person I would consider getting engaged early and hold off on getting married for a year until I knew he was the one. I feel that engagements are less official, and there wouldn’t be any harm in being engaged early in the relationship.
Will you live with someone while dating them?
Possible, never have, so I really can’t answer.
Do you say ‘I love you’ first or wait for your partner to say it?
I never say it first. Actually I haven’t been in love either, but I would wait for him to say it.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, love takes time for me. Although I think men can fall in love at first sight.
Well thankyou so much for doing this interview with me, its great to get another perspective on a topic like this!
Dating 101
Preliminary Questions:
-Male/ Female
-Ethnicity Caucasian
-Age: 22-Sexuality: Gay/ Bisexual/ Straight/ Transgendered/ Intersex
Approaching a possible date:
Thank you for sitting down for this interview! So let’s get started. When you are interested in someone, will you approach them first?
No, I’m way too shy! Also, I am very traditional when it comes to the approaching part of dating.
So if someone did approach you, then what physical qualities would attract you to them?
I like broad shoulders, tall, and clean-cut. I really love the professional look, it shows me that they take the time to look good.
That’s important! So then what would turn you off from person?
Smoking cigarettes, too skinny, too short, too tall, bad breath, uneducated, mean spirited, too forward, and too shy. All of those things make me want to run the other direction.
If you are ever being turned down, would you approach the same person again? Yea sure. I’m shy, but I’m confident.
Do you use pick up lines to initiate a conversation?
No, I let them take care of that. Like I said before, I am way too shy. I like it when a man initiates and takes action to talk to me, it shows me they are not lazy but bold, which is a turn-on to me. Any man that is too shy to talk to someone they like is not worth it to me. They will always be the loser sitting in the corner.
I can agree with that! After meeting someone and exchanging numbers do you wait a certain amount of time to call them?
I don’t call them, they call me. If they don’t, then it’s not worth it and I definitely won’t even be thinking twice about them.
Would you date someone older/ younger than you?
Not younger, but older definitely, and I have.
- if yes, How many years?
Not younger like I said, but older by 10 years or so. I am more attracted to older men because they are more mature and experienced mentally, physically, sexually. I don’t have to worry about babying them around, which I find that a lot of men my age need to be babysat.
Early on dating:
Who do you expect to pay on the first few dates?
The male. I am very traditional when it comes to this. Like I said before I am too shy and I expect the man to make the plans for the first date. If he can’t man-up and treat me like a lady, then I’m out.
So describe your ideal first date:
Meeting up around 7 in the evening and going to a five star restaurant. After dinner either go to a movie or go for a drive along the coast.
That would be nice! How long do you wait to have sex with someone that you are dating?
It depends on the person and I would have to know that they are sincere about the relationship. Sex can’t be the main motive. I try to wait as long as a can before it just “feels right.” Usually I can tell when that is a guys main motive by how aggressive he is. If a man waits, he is worthy of my time.
How long do you date someone until you make the relationship official?
A couple of months, although I usually let the male conclude whether we are in a official relationship or not. As you can tell, I leave a lot of things up to the men.
Will you date more than one person at the same time?
Never, I am a faithful person.
Would you date outside of your race?
Yes, I am right now, and it’s amazing
Serious Relationships:
In a serious relationship, have you ever cheated on someone?
Not in a relationship that I cared about.
That’s good! How long do you wait until you take your relationship to the next level: (Engaged/ Marriage.)
I would have to know that he is what I wanted and know as much about them as I could. After I know I want to be with that person I would consider getting engaged early and hold off on getting married for a year until I knew he was the one. I feel that engagements are less official, and there wouldn’t be any harm in being engaged early in the relationship.
Will you live with someone while dating them?
Possible, never have, so I really can’t answer.
Do you say ‘I love you’ first or wait for your partner to say it?
I never say it first. Actually I haven’t been in love either, but I would wait for him to say it.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, love takes time for me. Although I think men can fall in love at first sight.
Well thankyou so much for doing this interview with me, its great to get another perspective on a topic like this!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Interview #1
Dating Interview #1: By Cheyenne Inglis
Preliminary Questions:
Name: REBEKAH MENDOZA
Male/ Female: FEMALE
Ethnicity: PORTUGUESE, SPANISH, FRENCH, GERMAN
Age: LOUD AND PROUD "40!"
Sexuality: Gay/ Bisexual/ Straight/ Transgendered/ Intersex: STRAIGHT (tried Bisexual while inebriated, not my preference.)
When approaching a possible date:
If you are interested in someone, will you approach them first? WHEN I COME ACROSS AN ATTRACTIVE MAN, FIRST I TRY TO MAKE MYSELF APPROACHABLE AND GIVE OFF ALL THE RIGHT SIGNALS SO HE CAN FEEL CONFIDENT TO APPROACH ME. IF TOO MUCH TIME HAS PASSED AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONE OF US MIGHT BE LEAVING THE VENUE, I WOULD NORMALLY MAKE EYE CONTACT AND INTRODUCE MYSELF AND GO FROM THERE WITH, "WHERE ARE YOU FROM," AND EVENTUALLY, "IF YOUR AVAILABLE AND CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER." BUT ONLY IF THE CONVERSATION SEEMS TO BE GOING IN THE DIRECTION OF HIM SHOWING SOME TYPE OF INTEREST IN ME.
Interest is good. But if you are turned down, would you approach the same person again? IN THE PAST I HAVE FOUND MYSELF APPROACHING THE SAME PERSON TWICE AND EVEN FOUR TIMES! NOW THAT I'VE MATURED, I FIND THAT LIFE HAS MORE TO OFFER THAN WASTING PRECIOUS TIME ON THOSE THAT DO NOT APPRECIATE YOUR COMPANY.
So what physical qualities attract you to a person? EYE CONTACT, GREAT TEETH, WEIGHT/HEIGHT PROPORTION, FULL HEAD OF NATURALLY GROWN HAIR, TO NAME A FEW. PHYSICAL QUALITIES VARY THOUGH FROM GUY TO GUY. A GUY CAN LOOK LIKE BRAD PITT BUT HE ALSO HAS TO BE ARTICULATE, SHARE SAME INTEREST AS I DO SUCH AS POLITICS, HOBBIES, CHILDREN, STAYING FIT AND EATING HEALTHY. THE SIZE OF HIS CEREBRAL CORSUM WINS BROWNIE POINTS WITH ME ALONG WITH THE SIZE OF HIS SHOE.
That’s a lot, but it’s good to know you have standards! What turn’s you off from a person? I EASILY GET TURNED OFF FROM ANYONE WHO IS SHALLOW, SELFISH, UNCARING, DISRESPECTFUL, LOW SELF-ESTEEM, FREE LOADER, MAMA'S BOY, DRUG ADDICT, SEX ADDICT, SMOKER OF ANY TYPE, DEPENDANT, FICA SCORE LESS THAN 600 (I'M BEING GENEROUS WITH THAT ONE) DOES NOT OWN A BED, PREDATOR, BAD DRIVING RECORD, UNINSURED, HAD NOT HELD A JOB FOR LONGER THAN A YEAR, AND WHO HOLDS A CRIMINAL RECORD.
What about pick up lines? Have you ever used pick up lines or received pick up lines to initiate a conversation? I HAVE NEVER USED A PICK-UP LINE. I FIND THEM CORNY, EVEN THOUGH I CHUCKLE WHEN SOMEONE DIRECTS THEM TO ME. I AM VERY STRAIGHT FORWARD AND CUT TO THE CHASE. I MAKE EYE CONTACT, TAKE A DEEP BREATHE, PRAY I DO NOT GET SHOT DOWN, AND MAKE THE MOVE BEFORE I LOSE THE OPPORTUNITY.
Which is always good, you don’t want to miss an opportunity! Now I know some guys out there might have this rule, but after meeting someone and exchanging numbers do you wait a certain amount of time to call them? I DON'T HAVE RULES TO HOW MANY DAYS OF CALLING EVEN THOUGH I DO TEXT THE GUY WITHIN THE COUPLE OF HOURS AFTER MEETING. TXTING HAS BECOME THE NEW MEDIUM OF COMMUNICATION WHERE WE NO LONGER CALL THE PERSON.
How long? AFTER WE HAVE EXCHANGE A GREAT NUMBER OF TEXT MESSAGES I WILL ASK HIM A GOOD TIME TO MOVE OUR CONVERSATION TELEPHONICALLY.
Have you dated someone older or younger than you? I HAVE DONE BOTH.
How many years difference? THE YOUNGEST I HAVE AND DIDN'T KNOW IT, 20 YEARS OLD. THE OLDEST HE SAID HE WAS IN HIS LATE 40S, LATER I FOUND OUT HE HAD A FACE-LIFT! HE NEVER TOLD ME BUT I DID RESEARCH AND FOUND OUT LATE 50’S.
So is age nothing but a number to you? WITH THE RIGHT GUY IT’S JUST A NUMBER. BUT THEN AGAIN, WHEN HE IS 38 AND ACTS LIKE HES 20, THEN THERE’S A PROBLEM.
Early Dating:
If you’re going on the first few dates with someone, who do you expect to pay? IT DEPENDS ON WHICH DATE WE ARE ON AND WHO INITIATED THE DATE. IF I WAS THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED THE VENUE, I WILL PAY. I DON'T MIND PAYING AS LONG AS I KNOW THAT THE GUY AND I HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING OF WHERE OUR RELATIONSHIP IS GOING AND I KNOW THERE IS SOME POTENTIAL FOR GROWTH.
That’s fair! So, describe an ideal first date. I AM LEARY OF HOW MUCH TIME THE GUY HAS SPENT ON PREPARING FOR THE DATE, ESPECIALLY BASED ON HOW MUCH TIME HE HAS SPENT GETTING TO KNOW ME BEFORE THE INITIAL DATE AND WHAT HIS EXPECTATIONS ARE.
So no ideal date, just depends on how much time the guy has spent? YES, IF I KNOW HE IS ATTRACTED TO ME, AND HAS SPENT A LOT OF TIME ON MAKING A GOOD DATE, THEN THAT WOULD BE AN IDEAL FIRST DATE FOR ME.
How long do you wait to have sex with someone that you are dating? SOMETIMES I DO THE REVERSE DEPENDING IF I HAD BEEN DRINKING AND THE LEVEL OF INTOXICATION I AM, THEN I END UP DOING THE "WALK OF SHAME." ALCOHOL INTERRUPTS MY PLAN TO WAIT FOR MR. WONDERFUL TO DO THE PROPER TRADITIONAL THING OF CALLING ME AND WAIT FOR DATE NUMBER 10 BEFORE WE BECOME INTIMATE. RECENTLY THOUGH, MY "WALK OF SHAMES" HAVE DECREASED MAINLY DUE TO THE HIGH CASES OF "STD's."
STD’s are definitely a big problem today. SO MANY GUYS I HAVE MET DON'T SEEM TO CARE TO ASK ABOUT THE LAST TIME I HAVE BEEN TESTED. THE LAST FIVE GUYS I ASKED .. IRONICALLY THEY ALL SAID "JUST LAST WEEK I WAS AT THE LAB." WHEN I GET TESTED I ALWAYS HAVE THE TEST RESULTS PRINTED OUT, I HAVE NEVER MET A GUY WHO PRODUCE THE SAME.
You just have to be careful I guess. Well if they are “STD” free and someone who fits your standards, how long do you date someone until you make the relationship official? USUALLY I WAIT THREE WEEKS TO A MONTH BEFORE I KNOW I CAN MAKE IT OFFICIAL.
Would you ever date more than one person at the same time? NO, I CAN'T EVEN TRY IF I WANTED TO DATE MORE THAN ONE GUY AT ONCE. IT WOULD BECOME TOO COMPLICATED TRYING TO REMEMBER "WHO IS WHO." JUST THINKING ABOUT IS EXHAUSTING AND HURTFUL TO THE OTHER PERSON.
That’s refreshing! Would you date outside of your race? THERE ARE SO MANY MIXED RACES OUT THERE AND DIFFERENT COLORS OF PEOPLE THAT REPRESENT A VARIETY OF THEM. I CANNOT SAY I WILL NOT DATE "AFRICAN AMERICAN" OR "ASIAN" BECAUSE AT TIMES PEOPLE ALWAYS ASSUME I AM OF A DIFFERENT ETHNICITY WHEN IAM NOT WHO THEY THINK I AM. I DO NOT LIKE TO JUDGE, I STRICTLY GO WITH CHEMISTRY, SEXUAL ATTRACTION.
Serious Relationships:
First off, have you ever been in a serious relationship? YES A COUPLE, AND I WAS MARRIED ONCE BEFORE.
In a serious relationship, have you cheated on someone? HMMMM… TECHNICALLY YES. I WAS STILL LEGALLY MARRIED, BUT IT WAS AFTER MY EX HUSBAND FILED FOR DIVORCE. THE DIVORCED LAST 2 YEARS IN THE LEGAL SYSTEM.
How long do you wait until you take your relationship to the next level: Engaged/ Marriage? DEPENDING IF WE ARE BOTH ON THE SAME PAGE OF WANTING THE SAME THING, I WOULD ONLY WAIT A YEAR OR TWO BEFORE I MENTION ENGAGEMENT IF HE HAS NOT DONE SO. I JUST GOT DIVORCED SO MARRIAGE IS NOT IN MY VOCABULARY.
Very understandable. Will you live with someone while dating them? I HAVE LIVED WITH SOMEONE FOR 12 YEARS AND HE WAS NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL SO THEREFORE I WILL NOT REPEAT MY PAST MISTAKES.
You live and you learn. YES
Have you said ‘I love you’ first or do you wait for your partner to say it? I HAVE SAID IT WHILE INTOXICATED DURING INTIMACY WITHIN THE FIRST MONTH OF DATING, THEN I PLAYED IT OFF AS IF HE DIDN'T HEAR ME. THOSE ARE STRONG WORDS, I WOULD DEFINITELY GO BASED ON HOW I FEEL FOR SOMEONE AND NOT SO MUCH ON THE RIGHT TIMING. IF SOMEONE MAKES YOUR TOES CURL, THEY ARE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, AND THEY BECOME YOUR MOTIVATION FOR THE DAY. EVEN IF YOU HAVE BEEN DATING FOR ONE MONTH BUT BEEN SPENDING AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF TIME TOGETHER COMPARED TO OTHER COUPLES WHO SPEND HALF THE TIME WITHIN 6 MONTH TIME FRAME, THEN I THINK ITS OK. SOME COUPLES HAVE DATED 6-9 MONTHS AND THEY ONLY DATE ONCE A WEEK, WHILE OTHER COUPLES FIND IT MORE OF A PRIORITY TO SEE EACH OTHER EVERYDAY. ITS THE TIME SPENT TOGETHER NOT THE LENGTH OF THE RELATIONSHIP THAT COUNTS.
So last question. Do you believe in love at first sight? I USED TO BUT AFTER MY DIVORCE I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH ISSUES SUCH AS TRUST AND TRYING NOT TO HAVE EXPECTATIONS WHEN I THINK I HAVE MET MR. PRINCE CHARMING.
Completely understandable, you definitely have been through a lot lately, and I wish you all the best! Thank you for sitting down and taking the time to do the interview!
Preliminary Questions:
Name: REBEKAH MENDOZA
Male/ Female: FEMALE
Ethnicity: PORTUGUESE, SPANISH, FRENCH, GERMAN
Age: LOUD AND PROUD "40!"
Sexuality: Gay/ Bisexual/ Straight/ Transgendered/ Intersex: STRAIGHT (tried Bisexual while inebriated, not my preference.)
When approaching a possible date:
If you are interested in someone, will you approach them first? WHEN I COME ACROSS AN ATTRACTIVE MAN, FIRST I TRY TO MAKE MYSELF APPROACHABLE AND GIVE OFF ALL THE RIGHT SIGNALS SO HE CAN FEEL CONFIDENT TO APPROACH ME. IF TOO MUCH TIME HAS PASSED AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONE OF US MIGHT BE LEAVING THE VENUE, I WOULD NORMALLY MAKE EYE CONTACT AND INTRODUCE MYSELF AND GO FROM THERE WITH, "WHERE ARE YOU FROM," AND EVENTUALLY, "IF YOUR AVAILABLE AND CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER." BUT ONLY IF THE CONVERSATION SEEMS TO BE GOING IN THE DIRECTION OF HIM SHOWING SOME TYPE OF INTEREST IN ME.
Interest is good. But if you are turned down, would you approach the same person again? IN THE PAST I HAVE FOUND MYSELF APPROACHING THE SAME PERSON TWICE AND EVEN FOUR TIMES! NOW THAT I'VE MATURED, I FIND THAT LIFE HAS MORE TO OFFER THAN WASTING PRECIOUS TIME ON THOSE THAT DO NOT APPRECIATE YOUR COMPANY.
So what physical qualities attract you to a person? EYE CONTACT, GREAT TEETH, WEIGHT/HEIGHT PROPORTION, FULL HEAD OF NATURALLY GROWN HAIR, TO NAME A FEW. PHYSICAL QUALITIES VARY THOUGH FROM GUY TO GUY. A GUY CAN LOOK LIKE BRAD PITT BUT HE ALSO HAS TO BE ARTICULATE, SHARE SAME INTEREST AS I DO SUCH AS POLITICS, HOBBIES, CHILDREN, STAYING FIT AND EATING HEALTHY. THE SIZE OF HIS CEREBRAL CORSUM WINS BROWNIE POINTS WITH ME ALONG WITH THE SIZE OF HIS SHOE.
That’s a lot, but it’s good to know you have standards! What turn’s you off from a person? I EASILY GET TURNED OFF FROM ANYONE WHO IS SHALLOW, SELFISH, UNCARING, DISRESPECTFUL, LOW SELF-ESTEEM, FREE LOADER, MAMA'S BOY, DRUG ADDICT, SEX ADDICT, SMOKER OF ANY TYPE, DEPENDANT, FICA SCORE LESS THAN 600 (I'M BEING GENEROUS WITH THAT ONE) DOES NOT OWN A BED, PREDATOR, BAD DRIVING RECORD, UNINSURED, HAD NOT HELD A JOB FOR LONGER THAN A YEAR, AND WHO HOLDS A CRIMINAL RECORD.
What about pick up lines? Have you ever used pick up lines or received pick up lines to initiate a conversation? I HAVE NEVER USED A PICK-UP LINE. I FIND THEM CORNY, EVEN THOUGH I CHUCKLE WHEN SOMEONE DIRECTS THEM TO ME. I AM VERY STRAIGHT FORWARD AND CUT TO THE CHASE. I MAKE EYE CONTACT, TAKE A DEEP BREATHE, PRAY I DO NOT GET SHOT DOWN, AND MAKE THE MOVE BEFORE I LOSE THE OPPORTUNITY.
Which is always good, you don’t want to miss an opportunity! Now I know some guys out there might have this rule, but after meeting someone and exchanging numbers do you wait a certain amount of time to call them? I DON'T HAVE RULES TO HOW MANY DAYS OF CALLING EVEN THOUGH I DO TEXT THE GUY WITHIN THE COUPLE OF HOURS AFTER MEETING. TXTING HAS BECOME THE NEW MEDIUM OF COMMUNICATION WHERE WE NO LONGER CALL THE PERSON.
How long? AFTER WE HAVE EXCHANGE A GREAT NUMBER OF TEXT MESSAGES I WILL ASK HIM A GOOD TIME TO MOVE OUR CONVERSATION TELEPHONICALLY.
Have you dated someone older or younger than you? I HAVE DONE BOTH.
How many years difference? THE YOUNGEST I HAVE AND DIDN'T KNOW IT, 20 YEARS OLD. THE OLDEST HE SAID HE WAS IN HIS LATE 40S, LATER I FOUND OUT HE HAD A FACE-LIFT! HE NEVER TOLD ME BUT I DID RESEARCH AND FOUND OUT LATE 50’S.
So is age nothing but a number to you? WITH THE RIGHT GUY IT’S JUST A NUMBER. BUT THEN AGAIN, WHEN HE IS 38 AND ACTS LIKE HES 20, THEN THERE’S A PROBLEM.
Early Dating:
If you’re going on the first few dates with someone, who do you expect to pay? IT DEPENDS ON WHICH DATE WE ARE ON AND WHO INITIATED THE DATE. IF I WAS THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED THE VENUE, I WILL PAY. I DON'T MIND PAYING AS LONG AS I KNOW THAT THE GUY AND I HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING OF WHERE OUR RELATIONSHIP IS GOING AND I KNOW THERE IS SOME POTENTIAL FOR GROWTH.
That’s fair! So, describe an ideal first date. I AM LEARY OF HOW MUCH TIME THE GUY HAS SPENT ON PREPARING FOR THE DATE, ESPECIALLY BASED ON HOW MUCH TIME HE HAS SPENT GETTING TO KNOW ME BEFORE THE INITIAL DATE AND WHAT HIS EXPECTATIONS ARE.
So no ideal date, just depends on how much time the guy has spent? YES, IF I KNOW HE IS ATTRACTED TO ME, AND HAS SPENT A LOT OF TIME ON MAKING A GOOD DATE, THEN THAT WOULD BE AN IDEAL FIRST DATE FOR ME.
How long do you wait to have sex with someone that you are dating? SOMETIMES I DO THE REVERSE DEPENDING IF I HAD BEEN DRINKING AND THE LEVEL OF INTOXICATION I AM, THEN I END UP DOING THE "WALK OF SHAME." ALCOHOL INTERRUPTS MY PLAN TO WAIT FOR MR. WONDERFUL TO DO THE PROPER TRADITIONAL THING OF CALLING ME AND WAIT FOR DATE NUMBER 10 BEFORE WE BECOME INTIMATE. RECENTLY THOUGH, MY "WALK OF SHAMES" HAVE DECREASED MAINLY DUE TO THE HIGH CASES OF "STD's."
STD’s are definitely a big problem today. SO MANY GUYS I HAVE MET DON'T SEEM TO CARE TO ASK ABOUT THE LAST TIME I HAVE BEEN TESTED. THE LAST FIVE GUYS I ASKED .. IRONICALLY THEY ALL SAID "JUST LAST WEEK I WAS AT THE LAB." WHEN I GET TESTED I ALWAYS HAVE THE TEST RESULTS PRINTED OUT, I HAVE NEVER MET A GUY WHO PRODUCE THE SAME.
You just have to be careful I guess. Well if they are “STD” free and someone who fits your standards, how long do you date someone until you make the relationship official? USUALLY I WAIT THREE WEEKS TO A MONTH BEFORE I KNOW I CAN MAKE IT OFFICIAL.
Would you ever date more than one person at the same time? NO, I CAN'T EVEN TRY IF I WANTED TO DATE MORE THAN ONE GUY AT ONCE. IT WOULD BECOME TOO COMPLICATED TRYING TO REMEMBER "WHO IS WHO." JUST THINKING ABOUT IS EXHAUSTING AND HURTFUL TO THE OTHER PERSON.
That’s refreshing! Would you date outside of your race? THERE ARE SO MANY MIXED RACES OUT THERE AND DIFFERENT COLORS OF PEOPLE THAT REPRESENT A VARIETY OF THEM. I CANNOT SAY I WILL NOT DATE "AFRICAN AMERICAN" OR "ASIAN" BECAUSE AT TIMES PEOPLE ALWAYS ASSUME I AM OF A DIFFERENT ETHNICITY WHEN IAM NOT WHO THEY THINK I AM. I DO NOT LIKE TO JUDGE, I STRICTLY GO WITH CHEMISTRY, SEXUAL ATTRACTION.
Serious Relationships:
First off, have you ever been in a serious relationship? YES A COUPLE, AND I WAS MARRIED ONCE BEFORE.
In a serious relationship, have you cheated on someone? HMMMM… TECHNICALLY YES. I WAS STILL LEGALLY MARRIED, BUT IT WAS AFTER MY EX HUSBAND FILED FOR DIVORCE. THE DIVORCED LAST 2 YEARS IN THE LEGAL SYSTEM.
How long do you wait until you take your relationship to the next level: Engaged/ Marriage? DEPENDING IF WE ARE BOTH ON THE SAME PAGE OF WANTING THE SAME THING, I WOULD ONLY WAIT A YEAR OR TWO BEFORE I MENTION ENGAGEMENT IF HE HAS NOT DONE SO. I JUST GOT DIVORCED SO MARRIAGE IS NOT IN MY VOCABULARY.
Very understandable. Will you live with someone while dating them? I HAVE LIVED WITH SOMEONE FOR 12 YEARS AND HE WAS NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL SO THEREFORE I WILL NOT REPEAT MY PAST MISTAKES.
You live and you learn. YES
Have you said ‘I love you’ first or do you wait for your partner to say it? I HAVE SAID IT WHILE INTOXICATED DURING INTIMACY WITHIN THE FIRST MONTH OF DATING, THEN I PLAYED IT OFF AS IF HE DIDN'T HEAR ME. THOSE ARE STRONG WORDS, I WOULD DEFINITELY GO BASED ON HOW I FEEL FOR SOMEONE AND NOT SO MUCH ON THE RIGHT TIMING. IF SOMEONE MAKES YOUR TOES CURL, THEY ARE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, AND THEY BECOME YOUR MOTIVATION FOR THE DAY. EVEN IF YOU HAVE BEEN DATING FOR ONE MONTH BUT BEEN SPENDING AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF TIME TOGETHER COMPARED TO OTHER COUPLES WHO SPEND HALF THE TIME WITHIN 6 MONTH TIME FRAME, THEN I THINK ITS OK. SOME COUPLES HAVE DATED 6-9 MONTHS AND THEY ONLY DATE ONCE A WEEK, WHILE OTHER COUPLES FIND IT MORE OF A PRIORITY TO SEE EACH OTHER EVERYDAY. ITS THE TIME SPENT TOGETHER NOT THE LENGTH OF THE RELATIONSHIP THAT COUNTS.
So last question. Do you believe in love at first sight? I USED TO BUT AFTER MY DIVORCE I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH ISSUES SUCH AS TRUST AND TRYING NOT TO HAVE EXPECTATIONS WHEN I THINK I HAVE MET MR. PRINCE CHARMING.
Completely understandable, you definitely have been through a lot lately, and I wish you all the best! Thank you for sitting down and taking the time to do the interview!
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