When creating a project on a topic such as dating, there is one issue that seems to really stick out; the issue of sex before marriage. Religion has and always will be a controversial topic. But for many religions, there seems to be a common ground for the taboo of having premarital sex. Some use this reason alone to hold off on having sex before getting married, but to others this reason is not strong enough.
There are people who have a very strong and powerful faith in their belief/religion that is against premarital sex; however they still choose to “get it on”. This is not to say that these people are bad in any means. No. It is just showing how controversial this topic is. Would you like to know which websites are rated the top 5 dating sites of 2009, click on this link http://www.consumer-rankings.com/Dating/?c=4&e=r&ch=1&ad=3522738760&sc=search&kw=top%20dating%20sites&ag=1339547470&cr=22951492&gclid=CMiEzMyg4J0CFSZdagodqShVNQ
Some say that they do not have premarital sex out of the fear of unplanned pregnancies. Which leads to the question of pro-life vs. pro-choice? If you did/do have an unplanned pregnancy, do you have an abortion, give it up for adoption, conceive the child and leave it to die, or keep and raise the child. Here is a link to information about in-clinic abortion procedures http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/abortion/in-clinic-abortion-procedures-4359.htm. Here, we have a link that says “In 2001, approximately one-half of pregnancies in the United States were unintended (Finer 2006, Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health), and the United States has set a national goal of decreasing unintended pregnancies to 30% by 2010” http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/UnintendedPregnancy/index.htm. Going along with the topic of fear comes the fear of contracting STD’s. As an example, when asking a college student if he wants to have premarital sex, he replied “F**k yeah I wanna get laid, but what if I find a b***h that puts out; who’s to say she doesn’t sleep around and isn’t cum filled with diseases”. This link shows astounding facts, such as pregnancies among females living in the U.S. reached 745,000 http://www.cdc.gov/media/pressrel/2009/r090716a.htm. Do you want to know more about STD’s? Check out this link http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex-101.htm.
One’s morals and ethics may also serve as a boundary to premarital sex. One may not be religious and still through their own morals hold off on sex. There is also the topic of one’s family morals and ethics. A family may have strict penalties if one disobeys their rules/morals, such as being thrown out of the house to the ethics of having female surgical circumcisions to ensure a “pure”, “honest”, abiding way of life. Check out this link to learn more about relationship responsibilities http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/relationships/relationship-responsibilities-19914.htm.
How do you feel about the issue of sex before marriage?
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Not everyone who doesn’t want to have sex before marriage uses religion for their reason. Many men and women feel that it is something very special and very private. There is probably a great deal of differences in this area based solely on culture not religion.
ReplyDeleteI personally think that women are more likely to want to wait, maybe not until marriage, but until they feel comfortable enough with their partner. I would be interested to know if any men feel this way too.
I have a friend who truly believes that she doesn’t even need to kiss a guy to know if she would have chemistry with them. I think there is no harm in kissing, but she may be right because she hasn’t kissed this guy she’s been dating for a couple months and he’s still around.
Men always say they think about sex more often than women, I don’t think it is true, but I wonder if there has been any studies done on it.
Molly Stoecker
I am also doing dating and how it affects gender stereotypes for this project. In my opinion, sex before marriage is healthy and biological. Many people do not believe in marriage and insist that they will never get married. Other people who are athiest dont believe in a God, and therefore have no one to shame by participating in premarital sex. In our survey, we asked people how they felt about casual sex before relationships even developed. Around 30% of people (so far) said that they would have sex with someone they were DATING (not in a committed relationship with) within the first few weeks. Others said that they would have sex "as soon as they could get into their pants." Religion often lays a burden on people's sexuality and intimacy. Another reason why I feel that sex before marriage is okay is because a lot of the time, people need to "test the waters" so to speak. I hate using that phrase, but many people get married and decide that they truly have no chemistry together in a physical sense. Even though they love each other deeply, a lack of intimacy and lack of desire often leads to a fizzling out marriage. I think that perhaps people should think twice before having promiscuous sex, due to the fact there are so many STDs circulating and each partner you have had has most likely had a number of other partners. I feel that if you do decide that you want to have sex with someone before marriage, you should both be RESPONSIBLE. Get tested, use protection. Even if you are embarassed, you shouldn't put someone else or yourself at risk. Just be responsible.
ReplyDelete[Amanda Merchant]
When it comes to sex before marriage, I think if wait to have sex until after your married, you take the risk of finding out that the woman your with won't be able to satisfy you sexually. If this is the case, then most couples never get the chance to feel happy within all aspects of their marriage. This could and is a good reason to lead to infidelity, which is the number one reason for divorce in America. And as we all know, divorce is another act of sin in the Bible. Also if both partners have contradicting ideas about sex before marriage, it could lead to an unneccessary break-up.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, having sex before marriage can lead to unplanned pregnancies, STD's, and if your very religious, a forced marriage. Hopefully I don't have to tell you what that will do to your life. And for the record most unplanned pregnancies occuring with the use of a condom happens because the couple fails to use it correctly
The answer I believe is a toss up, therefore the opinion to have sex before marriage should go to the individual couple. However I will say that for your own protection, wear a condom. It is the only contraceptive that protects against both pregnancies and STD's.
Chris Emery
Group 8 on Pop Culture
I think that having sex before marriage is very important for a healthy marriage.
ReplyDelete1) It is important to have sexual experiences to find out what you like. If you know what you want it might be easier to find it. If you have an idea you can tell the person your dating, "Hey, I like *grilled cheese sandwiches* and I hope that you do too." If they say yes, then game on! If they say no, then maybe they could give it a try or maybe they are not the one for you. We all have the right to be satisfied by our partners.
2 It is equally important to have sex before marriage to see if your likes are compatible. There is a wide variety of sexual interests: anal play, bondage, fetishes, and a number of other interests exist that can cause problems if your partner is not game. Even frequency can be a huge issue. It would be very sad for me to be in a relationship where I could not satisfy or be satisfied by my husband.
The abstinence only education, I feel, is the cause of a lot of unplanned pregnancies. Teens will have sex no matter what. Not giving them information about safety puts them at a disadvantage. As long as both partners know how everything works then they should safely engage in premarital sex.
-Jessica Lowerre Group 1
It depends on what your beliefs are. People should be free to choose to have sex before marriage because it's their body.
ReplyDeleteBefore you have sex just ask yourself if its right or wrong? Nobody should choose for you or force you into it. Sex should be something that is shared by 2 people that love each other and it should be meaningful.
If your religion prohibits it and it is a sin, but you don't want to abide by that rule and decide to have sex before marriage, then it could be considered wrong. [David]
I agree that religion makes a big deal on having sex before marriage. Not only that, but mothers still raise their daughters telling them that a woman who is sexually active before marriage should not be allowed to wear a white dress on her wedding day because she is not 'pure.' I don't know if this is true with other ethnicities, but I know this is true with Hispanics.
ReplyDelete-Wanda Hernandez Group 5
Sex is a personal choice when it's consensual. Feeling desire is not something that can be regulated even under the strictest of circumstances. It ignores any religious mandate or any fears associated with having sex. This is clearly seen as your post pointed out, through the breaking of vows in different religions, through people who "live in sin," and through children born out of wedlock. Melba
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, this subject is simply a matter of opinion! I don't think there is necessarily a particular point of view on this subject that is right nor do I think that there is one that is wrong. It's simply a matter of what is best for each individual. I think people on both sides of this question seem to look down on the people who have the opposite view, and I think that is what is wrong! I won't reveal my opinion on this matter, but I think that if you are against pre-marital sex, that is great, but you should respect the opinion of people who don't hold that same opinion. Same goes for the people who are for premarital sex.
ReplyDeleteI agree that this is a very controversial subject, but these types of subjects are what really get to me, because there's really no good reason for disagreement, for the most part. Obviously, in the case of a relationship where one person believes premarital sex is acceptable and the other person does not, then further discussion and/or compromise needs to take place. Other than that, people just need to agree to disagree.
Steve T. Midgley
I think sex before marriage is ideal. It is an important part of any relationship and a couple should know if they are compatable in the bedroom as well as other areas of the relationship. I do, however, feel that a couple should wait to have sex until they are in love and completely commited to each other.
ReplyDeleteI think that religion is a little bit hypocritical when it comes to sex before marriage. Someone I know is Catholic and took one of those "promise vows" that they would wait until marriage to have sex, but then had sex anyways and just didn't tell their family. I think people should just wait until they're ready and not let anyone else influence them on what to do.
ReplyDelete(Tepthida Tan)
A interesting point I would like to bring up but first, I feel that the question about sex after/ before marriage is a personal choice. Unfortunately, many people that hold conservative religious beliefs feel that this is ideal for everyone. Therefore they have created the "wonders" of abstinence sex education. Even though scientific literature suggests that abstinence education alone is very ineffective to achieve its goals it is still being taught. Worse than this, are the detrimental effects of abstinence education. Links to increased teenage pregnancies, sexual transmitted infections, and dishonest information about contraceptives and safe sex methods predominate as problems with abstinence education. Among the problems is an unseen effect. This is the effect on gay and lesbian students. By ignoring safer sex methods, and with only five states where same sex marriage is legal this forces many gay and lesbian individuals to have unsafe sex.
ReplyDelete-Jeff Chang
I am a little bit confused by your comment Jeff. Are you implying that when children are taught abstinence in school this actually leads to more pregnancies/ STI's? I would like to see the study done that proves this because this seems crazy. Abstinence is the only method that prevents both of those things and that is the kind of information our children should be learning. Also, most schools do not teach simply abstinence, they also teach "safe sex" which is why 14 year old girls are getting pregnant. Condoms are only something like 65% effective and even with contraceptives 1:1000 women get pregnant while using them. I am not saying that I disagree with the idea of sex before marriage but I do disagree with children having sex.
ReplyDelete-Brittney
I'm am saying that abstinence education does not work. Multiple studies have found this. A 2007 multistate study found this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.advocatesforyouth.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=623&Itemid=177
In California, abstinence education experimented with until another study focusing only on California found that it did not work either. Cagampang HH, Barth RP, Korpi M, Kirby D. Education Now and Babies Later (ENABL): life history of a campaign to postpone sexual involvement. Family Planning Perspectives 1997; 29:109-114. The ineffectiveness of abstinence education aside it is found that abstinence education programs lie about STI/ STD and reproductive health putting the well being of men and women at risk.
Some of these blatant lies include:
A 43-day-old fetus is a "thinking person."
• HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, can be spread via sweat and tears.
• Condoms fail to prevent HIV transmission as often as 31 percent of the time in heterosexual intercourse.
One curriculum, called "Me, My World, My Future," teaches that women who have an abortion "are more prone to suicide" and that as many as 10 percent of them become sterile. This contradicts the 2001 edition of a standard obstetrics textbook that says fertility is not affected by elective abortion.
- treating stereotypes about gender roles as scientific fact
-other scientific errors, e.g. stating that "twenty-four chromosomes from the mother and twenty-four chromosomes from the father join to create this new individual" (the actual number is 23).
While the ineffectiveness of the program already makes teaching it ethically unjust coupled with the lack of REAL knowledge about human sexuality and blatant lies young adult learn make it not only unjust to teach abstinence, but a threat to public health.
I don't know where yo get your information from, possibly a conservative minister, pro-"Family" (single mothers and gays excluded) groups, churches, or websites masquerading as factually information but I have to tell you that your being lied to.
It seems ironic that those that claim to be moral, believe in violating there own teaching, like bearing false witness or hypocrisy to achieve there self serving and selfish goals of shoving there form of morality down the throat of a mislead and under-educated public.
-Jeff Chang
P.S. I'm Quaker, a branch of Christianity, and I find the lies to youth morally irrepressible.