Interview #3 By Cheyenne Inglis

Interview #3

Preliminary Questions:

-Male/ Female
-Ethnicity: Italian
-Age:25
-Sexuality: Gay/ Bisexual/ Straight/ Transgendered/ Intersex

Approaching a possible date:

Thanks for doing the interview! So lets get started, when approaching a possible date, when you are interested in someone, will you approach them first?
No I wont because I have a lot of pride in myself and I don't want them to refuse me. I will feel bad about myself and I will be afraid to talk to someone who is interested or not interested in me. I am shy depending on the person who comes and talks to me. I am more shy around girls than guys because I am worried what they think about me. I feel uncomfortable

So,What physical qualities attract you to a person?
The first thing a guy sees is the face, it needs to be smart-looking and look nice not evil. I don’t like too much makeup either, I like the natural look, makeup is bad thing. She cannot have a double chin or I will be turned off. The hair has to be also nice, I like it when its shiny and soft. Not too much work, just as natural as possible. Next I will notice if the woman is overweight, then I look at her breasts to make sure they are round and perky. I also look at legs, how a girl walks. I don’t like when women walks goofy. How a woman moves is important. I like when a woman walks elegantly. If i go to a bar with a girl, I don’t like a girl to just eat olives out of a glass, but be classy and drink a martini. A good butt is also important!

What would turn you off from person?
Oh damn, a lot! If I see too much hair on their arms or on their face then I do not like that! Also, a woman with a small bottom portion and bigger top portion is such a turn off to me. I don't like when a girl is talking and has dry saliva in the corners of her mouth! It’s a turn off. It makes me think "I will never kiss her", and if I can’t kiss her, then I cant be with her, it’s just gross. Umm…when a girl walks on the street without shoes and her feet are black. I’ve seen it in downtown San Diego like when a girl cant wear her heels anymore, so she walks barefoot where the cockroaches are. It’s like if you do that you don’t have a sense of cleanliness and it makes me think that the girl is dirty which is what I’m not looking for. I also don’t like if a girl smells bad or like B.O., it makes me want to say “get the hell out of here.” Also, when a girl makes her hair all different colors, I don’t like the punk look. I don’t like manly looking girls, like some Italian girls look so masculine and it turns me off. Last one that turns me off is when a girl has long, long nails, like u cant even type on a computer, that looks stupid.

That’s a lot, but at least you have standards! After being turned down, will you approach the same person again?
Oh no, that is crazy. I will talk “shit” about her because she hurt my feelings, but usually nobody turns me down because I always study the kind of person and never put myself in the position that a girl turns me down. I will study and think of the first thing to say. If I see somebody happy, then I like to think we would make a comfortable conversation. It’s not what you say but how you say it.

Do you use pick up lines to initiate a conversation?
No, because then a girl will think “you don’t know me, how can you even say that?” So I will never say something like that.

After meeting someone and exchanging numbers do you wait a certain amount of time to call them?
Actually, when I take someone’s number, sometimes I will forget the face of the number (haha). If I really like someone I will wait until she calls me first. I need to be sure that she is really interested in me first before I start calling her. After she texts or calls me I will call her once in awhile to make her feel that she wants desires me.

Will you date someone older or younger than you?
It doesn’t matter the age because you can find old women who are immature and younger women who are mature. It doesn’t matter the age, just the feeling. But, I cannot be with an older women by 20 years because when your in your 20s, you are still growing and building you life, when your 40 you there.

If yes, How many years?
Younger by maximum of 5 and older by 5 years as well.

Early on dating:

So who do you expect to pay on the first few dates?
Actually I like it when a girl will be a friend and wonder how much I spend. I am not married with a girl so I don’t want to pay all the time. It’s important to have an equal relationship. It costs someone to make money, and if I was a girl seeing a guy making 10 or 12 an hour, I wouldn’t feel good about it. I don’t like a girl to try to take me away from my work, although. If the girl is broke, I will pay for her but I still think that women and men have the same rights so they should both pay for their own stuff. If I really like a girl, it has nothing to do with pay, economical things are one thing, a girl I like is something else.

Describe your ideal first date:
For me, something nice would be going to Coronado Island (in San Diego) and walking where the view of San Diego is at night. Usually, on the first date I am afraid to show too much to a girl. I could rent a Ferrari or go to the best restaurant in San Diego, but then her view of me is wrong. I like something simple something where we can get to know each other, like a walk or an appetizer in a nice bar, or having a sandwich in a nice place. On first date, I am not confident. I can tell a girl “ hey, lets go on a jet ski” but she might be afraid.

Interesting! How long do you wait to have sex with someone that you are dating?
If I like a girl so much, it’s really not about waiting, it’s about how it comes. If it comes up early, it’s okay, if it comes on later, its okay. It depends on the girl. A woman is delicate and sometimes needs space in the beginning. A girl is like an engine you have to know it. If we have sex right away, then I think “it happens.” It’s the same to me whether it 2 days or 2 weeks, but 2 years, no way. If we wait too long, girls will just want to be your friend.

How long do you date someone until you make the relationship official?
Again, It depends on the girl. If I see the girl I’m still dating and she’s still talking to her ex, it takes longer, when a girl shows me that she really wants me and cares. If she asks me too soon to be my girlfriend, then I know she doesn’t know me, and it takes time to know someone. Honestly I am afraid of relationships so I always wait for the other person first. I am afraid of things ending bad because I have had bad experiences. I don’t know why every girl that gets with me really likes me a lot and doesn’t want to lose me, some girls lose pride and maybe she never had pride. It gets to the point where that makes me like someone less and less, a girl has to be herself.

Will you date more than one person at the same time?
No because I would lose both of them and because I don’t give myself to a lot of people at one time, this will mean that one of the girls, or both, I am wasting time on, and I do not like to waste time. I have many things to do, many things to take care of.

Would you date outside of your race?
Yes! It doesn’t matter where your from, we are humans, white, black, Asian, Latinos and Indians. I prefer the white race although, because I am white, I mean white-French, white- American, white- Scandinavian. If I go to England and see a black girl, it is hard for me because I am not attracted.

Serious Relationships:

Have you cheated on someone?
No, never. Like I said before, if I am with a girl, I am not a “whore.” I don’t give myself out to everyone, only to someone who deserves it. I am honest with everything in my life, whether it be work, or a relationship. If I don’t like someone, I will break up with them and just be honest rather than cheating on them.

How long do you wait until you take your relationship to the next level: Engaged/ Marriage?
It depends on the fights. If I have a lot of fights with my girlfriend, like breaking up and making up, it is not good for me. There’s a time between being boyfriend and girlfriend to getting engaged and in that time , if you have no problems, or are in a great relationship, I feel comfortable. When I’m comfortable, then I know I will want to marry this girl. If my family likes her, then I want to marry her. There’s no specific time, its related to how good the relationship is, if its good, then I’m great.

Will you live with someone while dating them?
If it’s an emergency and my girl needs help, then of course I would let her come in with me, but usually not while were dating because that is too fast. I have never lived with someone unless it was an emergency, bottom line. When I feel that I can do whatever I want while I’m with my girl and she understands me all the time, then I would move in. I have to feel comfortable, there has to be trust.

Do you say ‘I love you’ first or wait for your partner to say it?
In the U.S., you say I love you to everyone, it’s not like a strong meaning anymore. In Spanish there is “te quiero” like “I like you” and “te amo” like “I deeply love you.” So if I feel like I really love someone then I tell them “I really care about you, you are my heart, you are part of me.”

Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, because that is not possible. Maybe when your drunk (haha). You don’t know who they are how would you know? You have to get to know someone before feeling’s develop.

Thank you so much for doing this interview, it was very insightful!
Your welcome, anytime!